LET'S BE HAPPY (:

I believe.

2011-01-20T19:46:00.000-08:00

BLESSING IN DISGUISE.
塞翁失马，焉知非福。

I'm learning to be positive, hope it's all worth it (:

释怀

2011-01-16T06:46:00.000-08:00

If it's yours it's yours (:

2011-01-15T07:21:00.001-08:00

Today's the best day in 2011 yet, I'm blogging cos I wanna rmb today forever :D
Happiness at it's peak (:

Universal studios (: they can print nicer shirts and improve their mummy ride though. Neck pain :s
&golden roll ftw!!! Best best sushi everrrr woohooooo :D :D

I know you're reading this. Stalker -,-

心情复杂。

2011-01-14T07:21:00.000-08:00

不知道在伤心什么。
幸福是什么？我幸福吗？
是不是人家说我幸福我就幸福？幸福不是自己发自内心的感触吗？
复杂。好累，心好累。
其实，我想我算幸福吧。没有什么可以嫌的了。
为什么还要想这么多、为什么还要埋怨、为什么还要哭？
为什么不可以分秒开心？为什么期望要这么高？为什么不肯把心胸放宽一点？

"Smile, tomorrow will be a better day."
YUCKS.

Improving.

2011-01-13T07:04:00.000-08:00

Yes, getting better (: stay this way shirley!!!
Don't look back, be brave and smile (:

God, please help.

2011-01-08T03:33:00.000-08:00

Dear Lord,

I know You're the almighty one, You reign above all.
Please guide me out of this whole nightmare. I'm tired, stressed, worried and uncertain.
No one else can help me. Don't give me up.
Thank You Father, You're forever the best. Only Your love can triumph in the test of time. Because you first loved us, there's love all around me. I love you very much, as ever.

In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen.

幸福

2011-01-06T06:04:00.000-08:00

有你在多好，我要珍惜。
一个人也好，世界末日也好，有你在我什么都不怕 (:

Disappointed.

2011-01-05T06:33:00.000-08:00

On different wavelengths.
Sucks.

Sometimes I doubt it y'know. Really. Sian.
Sigh.

* & *

2010-12-31T23:04:00.000-08:00

Ahhhhhh disgusting I've never seen a grosser pair :(
I just saw their Facebook page wahhhh disgusting Mr Disgusting quoted some unknown author to hide his guilt WTF guilt is guilt I hope this sense of guilt follows him even in 2011. Mrs Disgusting is just... Omg. Cannot say ppl ugly v v v v v bad but really, she makes the most common-looking girl in the world feel good about her looks. Ah angry. 贱夫淫妇. 小人齐聚一堂。Happy new year to the two of them. May you two last long long, yucks.

Doesn't conscience bug you? Omg. 天下还有这么不要脸的人。

I'm v happy today!!!! :D

2010-12-30T07:15:00.000-08:00

HERE'S SHARING MY JOY WITH YOU :D

Today didn't start out well, I thought it wasn't my day.
But then again. Everyday is emotionally draining, why must the day either start damn happily then end damn sadly or vice versa D: then once the day starts off happily I know what to expect as the day passes D:

Meet the fockers v funny (:

要是每天都像今天这样，人生真美好 :D 活多几年真是无妨 :D
希望年年有今日、岁岁有今朝 :D 虽然不太可能，可是最重要的还是懂得知足不是吗 (: (:
YAYYYYY I'll rmb today forever <3

Ah I just read my previous post :( 希望所有的快乐都不是短暂的 :(

（：

2010-12-25T19:23:00.000-08:00

我希望时间可以停留在这里。

平安夜不平安

2010-12-24T06:55:00.000-08:00

我是一个玩腻后被遗弃的玩具。

把我的快乐建立在你的身上是我的错。
还是，原来所有的欢乐都是短暂的。
累。

我想你了。

2010-12-20T07:00:00.001-08:00

走之前，你忘了告诉我，想你的时候应该做什么。

独立自主的我去到哪里？
那种痛我还记得。希望不会再受伤了。

有人的处境跟我相同吗？

伤心。

2010-12-10T06:24:00.000-08:00

不知道从什么时候开始，我变成这样。
不再开心，开始想很多很多。
生命改变很多，做错的事很多，后悔很多。

不该哭了，哭有什么用。

这么大了，还是这么软弱。

该放弃的时候没有放弃，坚持己见，结果痛苦的人是我。
好辛苦，还得继续走。
一直选错的路。
我真笨。

接下来的路，没有人可以陪着我走。
这是命，要自己承担。
你这个白痴，醒醒吧。
过去的不会再回来，之前的欢笑，已经流逝。
勇敢地面对未来，好或坏。
这是命，要自己承担。

i miss the past. i miss alot of things. i miss the old me.
how does it feel like to be happy again?

结局。

2010-03-01T03:03:00.000-08:00

我有好多好多话想说，可是突然间，我不知道要怎么表达。

好失望。
辛辛苦苦经营的，最后还是归回土地。

ah dunno how to express in chinese.
we've had fun times tgthr, but it's only until today that i realise words are cheap.
sien, y'know what, i should have listened to you.

WORDS ARE CHEAP.

&to everyone out there. words are cheap.
everything is easier said i guess.
what is love?
do you understand what love is?
after crying for so long, so much, 我醒了。

当我最需要你的时候，我得到的只是电话筒里传来的，“don't cry"
以前，以前，以前，以前。
为什么你的转变这么大？
以前你说我最重要，我可以感受到我是最重要。
现在你说我最重要，可是在我最狼狈的时候，朋友还是比我重要。
我明白了。
靠人不如靠己。
我会学习放下，自己完成接下来的路。

你不需要我，我也不需要你了。

2010-01-08T07:22:00.000-08:00

熟悉的面孔
同样的感觉
还是回家最好

这里就是我的家
被遗忘的家

思念
怎么这么傻
一辈子都在等
痴痴地等
幸福，算是什么？
我幸福吗？

怀念容易满足的我
为什么会变成今天这样？
为什么要求多多，明知失望也会多多？
长大了，要学会放得下
不能事事如意
不能凡事都如愿以偿

接受命运的安排吧，或许心情会变得更晴朗。

加油，明天会更好。
好讨厌这句话。

DAMN

2009-02-15T06:00:00.001-08:00

i can't log on to msn :(
&i miss stnicks
i miss you guys

陷阱
沦陷
无法自拔
I'M TRAPPEDDDDD.

bemoan

2009-02-08T06:05:00.000-08:00

SIAN I WANT PCME!

&I LOVE CHUNYAN <3

dilemma

2009-02-05T08:07:00.000-08:00

&i suck again,
for being too hopeful

confusion $#$@%#

2009-01-31T09:02:00.000-08:00

JEALOUS ;
overwhelming
wahhhhh i feel like dying

what am i to you?
damnit, i'm damn loser
sometimes i wish i never met you
save me from all these troubles

arghhhhh how come emotions can get so extreme
you know, i'll forget you
i will, i will
but you gotta help luh,
can?

思念是一种病

2009-01-27T08:05:00.000-08:00

我很想你你知道吗
如果可以就让我再见你
美好微笑清澈眼睛
好确定那场分离只毁了我一个而已

我很想你听见了吗
这是唯一我无解困境
那些过去不肯过去
不管我后来遇见多少人
只能叹息都不你

my heartfelt words ;

it hurts to see you go
tell me, tell me you need me as much

LIFE

2009-01-07T05:38:00.000-08:00

MUNDANE.

反省

2008-12-30T05:23:00.000-08:00

我很丑，~~可是我很温柔~~ 又不温柔

在在意什么？

god, i'm sorry

2008-12-29T07:26:00.000-08:00

we suck big time
i haven't felt so bad for a long time
man, bad student
hope we can make it up

G-U-I-L-T
dumbass, how disappointing can i get
erghh as usual

can't wait to embrace a new life
new environment
all the waiting, desires
so much that i'm asking for.. my tummy hurts

boy, this is not what i call home

observance

2008-12-28T05:20:00.000-08:00

the vulnerability of life ;
please cherish your everyday...

:(

merry xmas

2008-12-26T06:21:00.000-08:00

To: Huiyin

Though i don't know you personally, and i don't know what happened to you, just to say: All the best girl, you can pull through it. Don't give up, your friends are worried about you.

Phua & Jane:

我想，世上就是会有很多事情不是你们想看到的
纵然伤心，也不要想太多
主必保佑

beautiful dream :D

2008-12-25T05:56:00.000-08:00

last night, i had a dream
a beautiful dream!

Mr Y was my good friend, hahahah can you believe it
just dream enough alr, cos it can never come true
damn cute, as usual
sigh should stop fantasizing
not healthy

it's really cold these days!
bad bad bad
rain's not my kind of weather
i miss school
i dun mind getting results back now
whatever it is, i'm sick of waiting

merry christmas, friend
251208

今天不知明日
sighhhhh
感叹

to my one and only

2008-12-15T19:03:00.000-08:00

i've always loved you, you know that very well
but have you ever spared a thought for me
i tried thinking really hard about it , but no, nothing, not once, never
still, when you needed help, i never rejected you
because it was wrong to do so
and when i needed your help, desperately, you told me to fuck off
how nice, little brother
you know how much i need that little favour from you
but you chose to put me down, put our friendship behind
i have always hated asking favours from you, cos you never agreed
&this, is what filial piety stands for you

perhaps that's what all big sisters are obliged to do
listen and cater to your every whim
never say no to little brother
help coming in automatically, not asked for, not demanded, but by initiative
yes, i know, i got that
mum has always been drilling us by that value hasn't she
ever since the day you were born, i was submitted to fate
fate has it that you, can decide whatever you want to do, manipulate me all you like, but me, oh no i can't, not the emperor treatment you receive
my responsibility is to make sure you're fine, well taken care of, protected, looked after... and the list goes on.

i'm sick of it, dear
when will you wake up and realise that you are in the wrong
&that you may be punished for what you have always always been doing?

笑话，真是笑话

2008-12-15T07:21:00.000-08:00

你真是有够奇怪
或许你也是感到费解，为什么我们这样对你
可是你可以明明白白、清清楚楚地把它例出来吗？
为什么要 act chim ？
哦，孤僻指的是个性，你的意思是孤单吧
我知道你的华文程度越来越高，我服输，okay? happy?
so i'm going to make this simple, easy to understand, idiot-proof, because i simply, cannot, match up to your standards, really sorry about that.

first things first.
i dun think 妒忌 and 心碎 has any basis for comparison.
&i dun care whether it's 妒忌 or 心碎，it's called get back.
get it?
secondly, 请你告诉我，我怎样利用你
老实说，我不觉得我有必要怕你怎么想，更从没想过世界环绕在我四周
因为拜托你想想，当初你说出那些伤人的话时，你又曾想过我的感受？
我知道，我承认，我对他们的认识一向比不上你，是我笨，是我失败。
难道这足以你把我踩在你脚底下？
难道这样就代表你可以用那种咄咄逼人、自以为是的语气，来教导我的每一步？
难道这就意识你最厉害？
thirdly, “不奢求什么就能得到”是什么意思？我的执著，我在奢求的，你了解吗？你不是已经变心了吗？

okay i dun want to analyse your every word further, it's plain stupid.
everything you said, is stupid. it doesn't make sense at all.
and i'm fuming mad because i thought you could come up with sth more realistic, more truthful.
definitely not sth as FAKE as “祝你们幸福”“祝福你”
all we wanted to achieve, was to make you feel how you made us felt.
well, you are the smart ass
i didn't expect that kind of i'm-really-innocent-you-guys-are-the-witches tactic
please, stop acting.
it's disgusting.

不要把我捧上天，我不是什么星星
把自己说的那么纯真，那么无辜，令人作呕
一下子说自己没有羡慕，是高兴，一下又说妒忌属于你
本来我还想很绅士地说两句就好，没想到我还是输你
没有你那么会演戏，没有你那么虚情假意，没有你那么假

要谈判是吗？
我等着你的 call

P.S. 不要说你都看到了，还有很多你还没看到

dear mom

2008-12-14T04:37:00.000-08:00

aiyaaaaa, whatever
glad it's over, relieved it's fine
you have never been belligerent
or the least bit unreasonable
so tell me, why that sudden change?

you know you have some control over my life
yes, you do, you always and forever will
manipulate me all you want
trust me, i've learnt what to do, and what to say
next time, things will be different

~~i can't wait~~

a random thought

2008-12-14T04:27:00.000-08:00

how blessed are those who have found their true love!
真爱如此卑微，为什么还有人为了刺激、为了新鲜，而选择背叛另一半？sighhhh curse curse curse.

i'm sorry

2008-12-13T06:15:00.000-08:00

i can't do it well
if it fails, it's my fault
sorry, but i dun really know what to do anymore

please, if you were kind, you would have helped me
&please please, it's not about putting me down

first, not last

2008-12-12T07:43:00.000-08:00

完美的一天

谢谢你们

胜利的滋味

2008-12-11T08:10:00.000-08:00

好开心 :D

bother

2008-12-11T05:11:00.000-08:00

MY BRO FORCED ME TO ANNOUNCE THIS.

i'm really proud of my brother,
the newly elected ncc head.

:P

孤单的人总说无所谓

2008-12-10T19:28:00.000-08:00

不要碰我
不要可怜我
这一切都是你造成的
我不想再见到你

请你走

牺牲品

2008-12-10T19:12:00.000-08:00

我最幸福的事当过你的天使
趁鼻酸能掩饰让我们像当时拥抱最後一次
最幸福的事吹蜡烛时你总为我许愿的手势
为挚爱的人在左边心口保留位置是最幸福的事

; i do

aiyaaaaaaaa

2008-12-05T08:48:00.000-08:00

wth i took the wrong bus home, how stupid
i've lived in woodlands more than half my life
and i boarded the wrong bus

someone slap me, seriously

私欲

2008-12-04T08:08:00.001-08:00

you imposter
copy copy copy

the way i hold my hair in place
my fringe
the bags i have
my new year clothes
the clothes i alr have
what i am wearing itself
The Phone
my views on makeup
who is Mr Definitely Right
the way i write 'G'
my diet

衣服穿什麼　走什麼風格
為什麼覺得你的一切那麼眼熟
那口紅的顏色　連走路的動作
忙了幾個鐘頭努力當個分身幹什麼

; arghhhh

餘情未了。

2008-12-04T07:27:00.000-08:00

在你的眼裡　我是你可以依靠傾吐的朋友
你從不忘記提醒我分擔你的寂寞

你從不知道我想做的不只是朋友

她完完全全的佔據了你的心
我，又是什麽

每次都說不想管了可是我做不到
她在作弄你你看不出來嗎

求求你
不要再讓自己淪陷了她不值得你這樣付出
眼光放遠一些天涯何處無芳草
我相信你會找到屬於自己的幸福
祝福你

~~我捨不得~~

random!

2008-12-02T05:55:00.000-08:00

sigh i feel totally obliged to blog.
just to sustain this sudden passion. but it's so troublesome!

and the little nonya show.. quite boring sorry :X

haha i'm looking forward to yoga's concert! my mum doesn't allow me to go though.
BUTTTTT if special guest appearance = san shao.. sorry mum i'll make up for it.

&i'm going KL this friday :D haha looks like i go malaysia really often. aiya bo bian, who asks malaysia boleh right.
haha shall update some links now!

ciao.

2008-12-01T07:22:00.000-08:00

i hate to start out like that, but at least i got it off my chest :D
feels great to be blogging again! hi if you're reading this, have you been missing me?
hahaha at one point i decided that i didn't like my life known.
but i guess, it's good to share isn't it.

alright, back to clearing my room. mission barely accomplished.

\seeyou again, baby
thanks for coming
you're the first to recognise the latest addition to your periodic table ;

btw, i like its name :D
&this boring skin, it's plain but that's enough

昔日的好友

2008-12-01T06:21:00.000-08:00

my first post, after years, dedicated specially to you -
a dear friend, a close bond； i never thought would turn out like that

my last present for you ;

凱俐，我們中計了

我不知道從哪裏開始說起
剛看過你之前給我的每一封信、每一張卡，
寫的每一句每一字...
你好虛僞
我終于意識到，原來我根本就不了解你
你變了，變成另一個人

我不喜歡被你使喚着，不是你叫我們做我們就做，

更不是你需要我們的時候才想起我們

大家一起歡度的時光、還有那些很痛苦很痛苦的回憶，

除非你是冷血，你失憶，否則我不相信你已經忘記了。

你的每一個字都帶刺，狠狠地刺入我的心坎
這一切的一切，是你故意計劃、精心設計的嗎？
你贏了。
你傷害到我了。
你達到你的目的了，因爲我永遠都不想再見到你。
這樣你開心了嗎？
接下來的路，我也不會再出現。
你還有你的那群死黨，不包括我
只有你，和幾個和你一樣虛情假意的人
我為你鼓掌。

我真的很想恨你，恨你讓我覺得我是多麽得一文不值
恨你這種需要我的時候才想起我的態度
恨你這樣沒人情
可是我不會，因爲我跟你不一樣，
你的低俗，你的下賤

我太高估你了